Check out this equation: Dating + Short Men = Uphill Battle. Decoded, this equation refers to the tough time many short men have trying to find a romantic partner because some women won’t date someone shorter than they are. The message many women send short men goes something like this: Yeah, sorry, but nothing you could say or do could ever give you a chance with me. But I’m sure you’re really nice! Ladies, give these short guys a chance, please!
Why not date a short man?
I haven’t conducted a study of my own on the subject, but I can assure you that scores of women of every type will say they simply aren’t attracted to short men. If you push them, they will hedge a bit: “I don’t know why, I’m just not.” As a psychologist, it’s not my job or place to be mean-spirited or hurtfully blunt, but it is my job to tell it like it is in reality. For those of you who insist that you’re not attracted to short men, you should, at least, try to have a good reason why you’re not. Men and women both fall prey to the (remarkably persistent) myth that sexual attraction works on auto-pilot, as if we are all preprogrammed to be attracted to the ones who captivate our attention. Yet the truth is far less mysterious. Continue reading →
(The following is written by a wife discussing the relationship struggles and marriage problems she and her husband face on occasion. And the couple’s “solution” has nothing to do with some magical secret, but rather represents hard work and a commitment to one another. Thank you, Lynn, for your honesty and for keeping it real! ~ Dr. Rich Nicastro)
Today I woke up in a bad mood (fueled by difficulty sleeping), and, if the way the rest of the day played out was any indication, I would have been better off staying in bed. I got the kids to school late (after power struggles about what to eat, wear, and who should be allowed to sit in the front seat of the car), my commute was slower and more congested than unusual, and work was as stressful as ever (my boss is unsupportive and incompetent—there’s a consensus among my officemates about this. He must be someone’s nephew). By the time I got home around 6pm, I was agitated and emotionally on edge. Continue reading →
Kathleen was anxious about her upcoming presentation for an important work project. And like many of us, she can be a little short and snippy with her partner as her anxiety and stress gets ramped up. Her husband Carlos realized she’s been under a great deal of pressure, and this understanding helped give him perspective. He was (for the most part) able to remain emotionally centered while Kathleen’s anxiety and brusqueness increased. Continue reading →
“I guess I’m bored with the whole marriage…We no longer try anything fun together.” ~Claretta, married twelve years
“Our relationship problems center around the fact that we no longer excite each other.” ~Jonathan, dating his partner for almost five years
The above issues are not exclusive to troubled couples. No matter how much we love and admire and respect our spouse/partner, long-term relationships/marriages are vulnerable to growing stale. It’s an unshakable relationship truth that over time novelty dwindles and excitement fades. And as years pass, the mystery and thrill of mutual discovery is edged out by the familiarity and comfort of knowing each other fully. Continue reading →
You know the saying… A picture is worth a thousand words.
This is especially true when it comes to online dating sites.
Like it or not, we are visual beings. That’s why it is so important to have a great picture representing the real you online.
It is the key for opening the door to being contacted on dating sites.
Start by making sure whatever pictures you post show you smiling. No sour faces allowed. This is especially true for women. Men love a woman’s smile and it’s often the first thing they will notice about you. Continue reading →
Breakups are tough, there’s no way around it, and sometimes changing your look can be just the boost of self-esteem you need to nudge the healing process along. However when in the throes of intense post-breakup emotions, it can be easy to go overboard with changes in the interest of grabbing the attention of your ex (think Miley Cyrus’s weight loss, hair cut and barely-there wardrobe choices post-Liam Hemsworth split).
While I completely support using a breakup to evaluate and make some updates to your look, I want to make sure you’re not approaching Miley territory and instead adopting a less-is-more attitude to your makeover. I’ve revealed below a few Dating With Dignity breakup makeover dos and don’ts to channel your breakup emotions in a constructive way and become the 2.0 version of your amazing self. Continue reading →
It’s an important part of any fulfilling relationship or marriage, yet so many couples struggle in the sex department. I really love this blog from marriage counselors Carista Luminare, PhD. & Lion Goodman, who identify the emotional aspects it takes to connect on this level with your partner.
It’s a universal desire, driven by ancient brain circuits that drive procreation and our primitive needs to be held, seen, and loved. We want — and deserve — more pleasure and less stress. Sex can be enlivening, relaxing and fulfilling.
When you search for “sex advice” on the web, you’re offered 416 million websites to choose from. There is no shortage of people offering you help: thousands of experts offer trainings in how to jazz up your sex life. What’s missing, however, is something essential — the real foundation and fuel for the best sex: safety and security. Continue reading →