By Alan Howard
If you live with a passive aggressive partner, I really do understand your pain, as I have been the one causing that same pain in others over the years. Only recently have I begun to understand the effect my passive aggression has been having on other people.
One of the really amazing dynamics of relationships is that people are attracted to their opposites, those who balance them. This dynamic works in mysterious ways, and often without the participants’ knowledge or understanding. So a lazy woman might be with a hard working man, or a quiet man will be with a talkative woman, or a man who resents taking orders will be with a woman who gives orders…
Passive aggression (PA) goes back to childhood, and is a result of controlling and abusive parents who prevented the expression of negative emotions in the child. The child grows up learning that expressing emotions is a punishable offence, and so they don’t. However, they have a feeling of helplessness and anger about their situation, but with no control over it or any authority to do something about it. So they end up becoming the ‘rebellious teenager’, who agrees to doing what they’re told, but finds ways of sabotaging it in order to establish their own sense of control with the situation. Continue Reading