Can counseling really make a difference in my relationship?

Yes, it can. So many issues that drive couples apart can be traced back to patterns of behavior that were learned in their respective families-of-origin, which are at frustrating odds with each other. Both individuals claim to be right from their perspective, and, thereby, make assumptions and have expectations of their partner based on these perspectives. In addition, men and women’s brains are “wired” and process information differently so it is difficult for them to see things in the same way. Partners may be seen as uncaring, insentive and uncooperative when, in reality, they really do not understand what you’re talking about. Counseling can help you sort through all these dynamics to find a middle ground on which to forge a new, more respectful relationship.

How long are sessions and how often do we meet?

Sessions are approximately 50 minutes in length but may be longer depending on the issues at hand. I meet with clients usually once a week but it can be more frequent if necessary to promote good emotional health.

 How long does counseling take to show an improvement in my relationship?

Although there are no guarantees, if each individual takes it upon him/her to make changes that will enhance their relationship without trying to change their partner, positive relationship change will most likely occur. You will, then, tend to feel happier with less conflict. How long this takes depends on how committed each partner is to making these changes for themselves and not blaming the other for their unhappiness.

 What if my partner won’t attend the sessions with me?

Counseling can be successful if only one person attends. I will work with you to help you find the best pathways to enhance your relationship by exploring the ways in which you contribute personally to either help or hinder your relationship. If your behavior begins to change in positive, healthy ways, your partner’s behavior is likely to change in response to that change.

 My relationship is in danger of ending. Can you help save it?

That’s a difficult question because it involves several factors. First, are the partners capable of empathy for each other? When couples seek outside help to save their relationship, they have usually endured long-standing resentments and emotional pain that make it difficult for the partners to have empathy for each other, a quality that is necessary to heal their relationship. Second, do both individuals want to save the relationship? If underlying love is still present between the partners and they just feel stuck, saving the relationship is more hopeful. Third, are both partners motivated and willing to look at themselves, rather than blame the other, and do the work necessary for change?  No one can change another person. The only one you can change is yourself. If each partner can seek to be the best emotionally healthy he/she can be regardless of what their partner is doing, then there is a higher degree of hope that the relationship can be saved.

 I have been experiencing feelings of anxiety and/or depression and need to work on some of my own issues. Do you do individual counseling?

Yes, I do individual counseling relating to anxiety, panic attacks and depression.

 Do you do telephone counseling?

Yes, I do counseling over the telephone.

 I don’t need in-depth counseling but from time-to-time I do need help with a developmental issue. Do you offer consultation services?

Yes, I can coach you in areas relating to marriage, family and personal growth.

 What methods of payment do you accept?

I accept cash, checks, credit cards, paypal and some types of health insurance.

 How do I get started?

Great! Give me a call at 858/674-4913 to set up an appointment to discuss how I can best meet your needs.