Shortly after my book, It’s Not You, was released, I was giving a reading in Brooklyn, NY, when a reader asked me why relationship books like mine are always written for women.
“Because women buy the books,” I said. My editor and publicist, sitting in the front row, both nodded.
This, I added, wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. I like the fact that women put a lot of effort into having healthy lives and relationships. I like that we’re willing to take hard looks at ourselves, to examine our motives and behavior and see if we can make any adjustments that could possibly improve our lives.
But there is also a dark side to this: Self-help can quickly become self-blame, and in my experience women are often too quick to attribute all of their disappointments to their personal failings, especially when it comes to romantic love.